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Before becoming a parent, I don’t think I fully understood how much my children would need my undivided attention. I knew babies required constant care, but I assumed that once my children reached school age, I would simply guide them in the right direction and watch them grow.
What I didn’t realize was how much intentional teaching, modeling, redirecting, and one-on-one connection would shape their development — especially for my children diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder.
Early in my marriage, I earned my teaching degree and briefly taught in the public school system before becoming a stay-at-home mom. When my oldest reached school age, we chose to homeschool because I had the background to do so, but we also felt uncertain about the school options available to him.
Later, when my second son began showing developmental delays, keeping him home felt like the natural choice so I could focus more intentionally on the skills he needed most.
Looking back, homeschooling was one of the best decisions we made for our sons with ASD.
Working one-on-one with my children in both their weaknesses and strengths made an incredible difference in their development. Early on, both of my boys on the spectrum were nonverbal. At three years old, they had very few words, and one communicated mostly through vowel sounds.
Having them home allowed me to focus deeply on communication skills, life skills, emotional regulation, and academics in ways that were tailored specifically to them.
Academically, I learned to teach according to each child’s unique learning style. What worked for one child often didn’t work for another.
Our homeschool environment probably looks very unconventional from the outside, but it has helped my children thrive. We rarely sit at desks for long periods of time. My boys often curl up in calm corners to read. We take frequent sensory and brain breaks, working in smaller chunks throughout the day. Sometimes we spend only 30–45 minutes on focused work before pausing for a reset.
Movement is also part of learning in our home. We practice math facts while jumping on the trampoline, answer comprehension questions outside, or run laps between assignments. Making myself available for the one-on-one interactions they needed changed everything.
What I Learned
Over the years, I’ve learned that every child has their own unique way of learning and growing.
Having eight children — including two on the autism spectrum and three adopted children with various delays — has taught me to truly study each child individually. Every one of them is wired differently. Some are visual learners, some auditory, some highly kinesthetic. What helps one child flourish may completely overwhelm another.
I’ve also learned to watch for subtle signs. Emotional dysregulation, frustration, withdrawal, or suddenly hitting a “brick wall” often tells me that something needs to change. Paying attention to those moments has helped me better understand what supports each child needs in order to succeed.
This wisdom didn’t come overnight. It has taken years of observing, adjusting, and learning alongside my children — and honestly, I’m still learning with my three youngest because they learn differently from the rest.
But through all of it, one thing has remained true: one-on-one connection matters deeply.
Spending intentional time with my children gave me insight I never would have gained otherwise.
Encouragement & Practical Tips
I know not every parent has the ability — or even the desire — to homeschool, and that’s okay. One-on-one connection with your child does not require being together 24/7.
What matters most is being fully present when you are together.
Talk with your child. Listen to them. Learn what helps them feel safe, regulated, and understood. If your child is nonverbal, communicate regularly with the teachers, therapists, or caregivers who work with them. Share the insights that only you, as their parent, can provide.
Advocate for your child’s needs and seek opportunities for them to receive individualized support whenever possible.
And don’t be afraid to ask for help.
One of the greatest blessings for our family was when our church provided a “special helper” to stay with our child during weekly services. Small acts of support like that can make a huge difference for both parents and children.
Look for trusted people who can step in, support your child, and give you room to breathe when needed.
Final Thoughts
Children thrive when they are deeply known.
Whether it’s through intentional conversations, visual supports, sensory breaks, or simply slowing down long enough to understand how your child learns best, those small one-on-one moments matter more than we often realize.
One of the tools that helped our family was using visual supports and structured routines to create calmer, more successful days. If you’re looking for practical resources to support communication, emotional regulation, or daily routines, you can explore some of the parent and teaching resources I’ve created from our own journey as an autism family.
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Creating Calm Through Routine and Consistency
As an autism mom, I learned that routines are about far more than schedules — they help children feel safe, calm, and emotionally regulated. Consistency transformed our home.
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