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Early on in our Autism journey, I began to notice that my son got easily overwhelmed. Sometimes he would simply resist, complain, and cry, but other times they seemed like outright fits. He would melt down to the floor, scream, and fight whatever it was that I was trying to get him to do.
When your child is difficult to console and seemingly falling apart over little things, you begin to dig in and search for answers. As I watched more closely, I began to notice patterns. Most of the time, these difficult moments came after periods of increased sensory input. We had been in a loud place; there had been lots of people around; he was “expected” to interact with a bunch of kids his age; he was overtired or very hungry; all of these seemed to contribute to his overwhelmingly negative fits. He also had a very hard time communicating his needs due to his lack of language skills and would get frustrated and overwhelmed easily if I didn’t understand what he wanted.
Honestly, all of this detective work was my responsibility. In the months and years that followed after receiving an Autism diagnosis, I was left to figure out a lot of things myself. My son’s “abilities” were in the range that we didn’t really qualify for therapy. We probably would have benefited from Speech Therapy, but I didn’t know enough to ask about it. (Of course, this was nearly 20 years ago; things have changed so much since then.) I just did all the research myself and implemented strategies to help my son learn to talk and become more emotionally regulated.
When my fourth son began to show signs of also being on the spectrum, I did not make the same mistake twice. I fought to get him early intervention through Babies Can’t Wait and am so glad that I did. He began receiving services, and we eventually started private Occupational and Speech Therapy for a couple of years, and it made a tremendous difference.
What I Learned
The sensory needs of autistic children can be incredibly complex and unique from one child to the next. When my boys would have a meltdown, I realized that their nervous systems were crying out for something. Through a lot of trial and error, I realized that implementing a daily sensory diet for each of them was crucial. When my boys were able to get the sensory input that their bodies needed, they would have fewer meltdowns and feel more regulated.
As explained in the book, This is Too Much, each child has a brain bucket. All the sensory input they receive goes into the bucket. Each sound, smell, thing that is touched, seen, or experienced begins to fill the brain bucket. Eventually, that bucket gets so full that it begins to spill out in emotional dysregulation or what we call a “meltdown.” Some children meltdown and some shut down. It's like their nervous system goes into fight-or- flight mode. But when parents and caregivers help their children receive calming sensory input that helps regulate them, their brain buckets begin to drain rather than become so full.
This knowledge helped me tremendously with my boys. I began trying different sensory activities to discover what helped each child feel calm, regulated, and connected to their body. When we found those special activities, we scheduled them into our day and began to reap the benefits.
What It Looked Like for Our Family
What worked for our family may not work for every child, but these were some of the sensory supports that made a meaningful difference in our home.
I began to notice that by mid-morning each day, my son would begin to get a little out of sorts, not a full-on meltdown, but just teary, having a hard time getting along or changing activities without upset. I would then go get his “heavy vest.” Back in the day, we did not have the finances for all the fancy autism gear, so I made my own weighted vest out of a fishing vest with pockets filled with ziplock bags of dried beans. He would wear this around the house while playing, and it really helped him reset.
We also implemented daily snack time on our covered deck while sitting on our porch swing. We would swing, eat a snack, and visit. Oftentimes, he would lie down after he had finished to get that side-to-side vestibular input. He really enjoyed that. After snack, I would allow him to play in his sensory bin that we kept outside. I rotated the materials in the bin every few weeks. Sometimes it was dried corn or beans, rice, water, soap shavings, or sand. The bin was large enough for him to sit inside while scooping, pouring, digging, and exploring to his heart's content. He also loved to get his feet in all the different materials and would sit in the bin for as long as he wanted. We also repeated the snack time/swing time each afternoon with sensory bin time if he desired.
My fourth son was a little different. We used a dry brush with him and would brush his arms and legs each day. He also liked swinging, especially the spinning/swinging motion of a rope swing. We used the trampoline daily with him as part of his sensory diet and also had snack time on the swing with lots of sensory bins for him.
Bedtime for both of my boys was always challenging. Eventually, we bought weighted blankets for each of the boys. Also, each boy had a sound machine and a star projector that would shine on the ceiling and move slowly to help lull him to sleep.
Encouragement & Practical Tips
Each child is so different when it comes to sensory needs. Some children can manage with just a little bit of intervention, while others need a consistent daily sensory diet. Finding what works and does not work for your child can be a bit of a challenge, but it is so worth it.
Don’t be afraid to try something new.
Watch your child and notice the patterns.
Try to give your child calming sensory input before they get to the overwhelmed point.
Take note of what works and does not, and make a change if needed.
Ask your child for input.
Be consistent. Calming input helps to drain that bucket.
Above all, give yourself and your child grace. There will likely still be meltdowns and shutdowns. This autism journey you are walking is a marathon, not a sprint. There are no quick fixes, but as you learn to support your child's nervous system and sensory needs, you will begin to see progress. Celebrate those wins!
Final Thoughts
Implementing a sensory diet was not a magic solution, and it certainly did not eliminate every meltdown or difficult day. What it did do was help us better understand our children's needs and give us practical ways to support their nervous systems before they became overwhelmed.
As parents, we cannot remove every challenge our children will face, but we can learn to recognize their needs, offer support, and create opportunities for them to feel successful. Over time, those small daily efforts add up to meaningful progress.
The concept of the "brain bucket" comes from my book, This is Too Much!, where Bud Eggerton helps children understand sensory overload in a simple, child-friendly way. If your family is navigating similar challenges, the story may provide a helpful starting point for conversations about sensory needs and emotional regulation.
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